The Journal of Rosie Weasley
by Mallori Doe
Summary: What would happen if the eldest daughter of Ron Wealsey fell in love with the eldest son of Draco Malfoy? This is my point of view.
1. Chapter 1

**Addressed to No One**

In the Girl's Dormitories

About 9:00 pm.

My birthday.

It is my birthday. How grand. I am officially 16. My name is Rosie Augusta Weasley, and I have the best boyfriend ever. I just hope dad doesn't find out. That's me in a nutshell. Actually, I have been dating this guy for a little over one year, and I have managed to not let my parents know. I am absolutely amazing. How I do it I just don't know.

When we first started dating, I was stressing out about it. A lot. All I could think about what "what will daddy say?" I had a one-track mind. We first started dating our fourth year when I was almost fifteen. It was Halloween after the big feast. I was on my way back to the Common Room when he pulled me aside. We both knew that we liked each other. Some time before I built up the nerve to let him know. It took a lot of nerve. You don't understand, a lot of nerve. I am a Gryffindor, which means I am constantly at odds with the Slytherin house. And my boyfriend comes from a very prominent family all from the Slytherin house. Including him. He is Scorpius Malfoy, whom my dad specifically requested I beat in every class, and not get 'too friendly with'. Apparently his dad and my dad didn't get along when they were at Hogwarts. Which according to Scorpius is a bit of an understatement. They were severe enemies until the _very last_ day. When Dad and uncle Harry saved his life…twice.

Anyway, back to why we ended up dating. I sent him a note by owl, he got it late at night, which I made sure of. Then I didn't hear anything for weeks. I was beginning to worry that it went to the wrong person. Actually I was more than just 'beginning to worry'. I was on the verge of having a panic attack. Even worse: what if he got it, told all of his friends and they were at that moment secretly making fun of my naivety. I was a basket case. Then one night, after I was in bed and trying to sleep an owl began to peck at my window. I thought it was for one of my roommates, as usual, normally they get the guys, which frankly I am okay with, unless it was _this _guy. So I just laid in my bed, wishing I could go back in time to when I made the air-brained decision to tell him how I felt, when my best friend, sweet darling Ariel, gave me the wonderful news that: the owl was for me. I unfolded the letter and here was what it said:

Rosie- 

_I got your letter, and I just wanted to let you know that I feel the same way. I have liked you for a while and would like to get to know you. So will you please spend the next Hogsmede outing with me? If you can, please send your reply via owl as soon as possible. _

_Sweet Dreams, _

_Scorpius Malfoy_

I have treasured that letter ever since. I wrote him back that very instant, of course I said yes. And at the next Hogsmede weekend I spent the day with him. By the end of the day I would like to think he was completely and totally infatuated with me. But who am I to tell? After a few more weeks, on Halloween, I became his girl. Somehow, my family just didn't seem to mind, all that much. They just seemed to accept that I was with a Malfoy. And somehow, I don't know how, they just never got around to telling my dad. Mum knows that someone special is in my life, and she might have a clue about who it is, but I am not that worried, mum seems to have a better grip on her emotions. As compared to dad, he might have a few words to say if he ever finds out about this. More than a few, probably an essay's worth of words.

I cannot figure out why Lily got this for me. She handed it to me this morning at breakfast, smiled really big and said "Happy Birthday!" then walked away. She put a letter in it that said, "I've heard that these can be really useful, write your thoughts, your hopes, random facts about your day. My dad's mom had one of these, and it apparently was very helpful. Happy sixteenth. Just think in one year you will be of age. Isn't that amazing! Just one year! I love you Cousin! –Lily" So I am taking her word for it. For some reason I just can't make sense of why I would write a letter addressed to no one. That's what this feels like. I've heard Uncle Harry talk about his mother's diary, apparently he just found it one day and he read it. I guess it might have been helpful, since he never really got to know his mother. To me it just seems weird.

So you (although, I don't know who 'you' is since this is addressed to no one) might wonder, why is she even bothering anyway? Well, because I am an aspiring writer, and I have heard that doing these helps develop my writing abilities. I can't guarantee that I will write often but, I'll write a little ever once and a while.

Happy Birthday to me.

----Rosie

….. ♥ …..

In Charms Class

About 2:00 pm

Bored out of my wits

Everyone is still trying to master the engorgement charm, which I mastered my third year. So I decided to catch up my diary. It has been a few weeks since my birthday; I got a few more presents from my parents and Scorpius. (He's next to me right now, saying '_Engorgio_' over and over, and he still can't get it. I know what he's doing wrong, but he hates it when I correct him. I think that is just so cute, he has to figure it out by himself!) I got a book from mum and dad, and a necklace from Scorpius. "Hogwarts, A History, the Revised Edition" is the book mum and dad sent. They bought me the first one when I was a first year, it was very informational, but some of the facts were wrong. For instance it said that the Chamber of Secrets was a myth, which, now, everyone knows is false. The necklace Scorpius gave me is beautiful. It is on a long silver chain (I love long necklaces) and at the end there is what appears to be a ring of keys. And then there is a heart dangling from it too. And one of the keys opens the heart. It is adorable.

It is getting very cold around the castle nowadays. It is the middle of November, and snow is a heavy sheet covering all the grounds. Whenever we have to trudge our way out to Care of Magical Creatures or Herbology the people in front have to do a spell to melt the snow in front of them so we have a path out. And we are always freezing through those classes; it has never been this cold at Hogwarts in winter as far I can remember. Yesterday Lily had to go to the Hospital wing because she was getting the beginnings of frostbite! Seriously! It is getting ridiculous. Soon headmistress McGonagall is going to have to make those classes either end for the season or move inside. I've already written her a note requesting either one of those options.

Of course, Lily doesn't mind her bit in the hospital wing at all. Apparently, Oliver Corner was there and they got to know each other while the other was waiting to get cured. Now Lily is totally in love with him and counting the seconds until he becomes another one of her boyfriends. She loves the boys. When Lily was a first year she got a boyfriend only 2 months into her year. And she didn't even care that much about boys yet, she just thought it made her appear more mature! How can an eleven year old look more mature? Now she has her sights set on another boy, and I bet by the end of the month he will be hers. Uncle Harry is really worried though. He has asked me multiple times to tell her to 'cool it off' with the guys. He says that he knows guys and that he does not trust a fourteen-year-old boy around his precious little girl. I've given her the message a few times, but she normally laughs it off and runs back to her current boyfriend. I hope she doesn't get in trouble, I doubt she would get in serious trouble, but I mean trouble like serious heartbreak. I know she is smart enough not to go TOO far. I hope.

I'm switching to a different subject. Er, how about I talk about my friends? I have two really close friends: Ariel and Naomi. They are pretty much the best. They were almost the only Gryffindors who didn't care when I went after a Slytherin, and they are the only ones who _never _criticize me for being so 'smart'. I can't help it. I have toned it down since my first year, I don't raise my hand fifty times in class just to flaunt the fact that I know the answer, I don't exceed the minimum essay limit by over one foot of parchment. And I thank my two closest friends for my amazing transformation. Now I am not quite as freaky. I'm a still a little freaky, just not so in-your-face freaky. I will tell you about each one now. Because I can tell Scorpius is still a long way away from ever making his pincushion larger.

I met Ariel at the Gryffindor table after we were both proclaimed Gryffindors by the Sorting hat. She was called after me. We shook hands, introduced ourselves, asked the other to pass the gravy and were best friends ever since. Her favorite class is potions, she thinks it is so fun to cut up the ingredients and see the slop change colors. And I have to admit that it is probably her best class, she rivals me. Which I think is pretty cool. She wants to be a healer when she finishes at Hogwarts. Which I think is absolutely admirable. As you can tell I look up to her (figuratively and literally). She is really tall 5'10. That's tall for a girl. Her hair is long and wavy blonde, (which she got from her mother, who was friends with my parents. Everyone has to be connected to my family in some way). She has big bright blue eyes and a perfect smile. So of course she has a boyfriend too, who happens to be the seeker on the Quidditch team, my cousin James. Dad laughed when I told him she was my friend then gently told me that 'No matter what your friend says, there is no such thing as a Crumple Horned Snorkack.' Apparently that has something to do with her mother and grandfather.

Naomi and I were actually enemies for a while. Classic storybook tale: we hated each other and by some twisted string of fate now we are best friends. We first met on the train on the way here and my cat sort of attack her while Naomi was eating her tuna fish sandwich her mother insisted on packing. What can I say? Cats love tuna. So she hated me for a while claiming that I sent my possessed cat at her unprovoked. Which meant I hated her too. Then one day we had detention together (I was out in the halls too late because I lost track of time in the library) and somehow we forged a friendship as we moped the floors of all the rooms in the transfiguration corridor. Now for the physical description: She is as tall as me, has brownish blond straight hair, brown eyes, and is stick thin. But she doesn't have a boyfriend. She doesn't seem to care though. She says that she is concentrating on her studies. Which is good, her parents confiscated her broom and told her that if her grades didn't go up she would never be able to play Quidditch again. And that wouldn't go very well, since her dream is to play for the Chudley Cannons. She believes that they need more women to turn their game around. Which is awesome. So She is studying hard so she can be back on the house team by next fall.

Aww, Scorpius is finally asking for my help. He was waving the wand wrong. He's done, so I am going to talk to him now.

----Rosie

….. ♥ …..


	2. Chapter 2

**Christmas Time Again**

At The Breakfast Table

8:00 am

Almost Christmas

I am very bad at this whole, journaling thing. I always forget to write often. It is a week before Christmas. The castle looks…magical. Well, it always does, but it looks even more spectacular this time of year. With the trees, the snow, and just the atmosphere. I love Christmas atmosphere. Everyone seems happier. The Problem is that it is even COLDER than it was the last time I wrote. The outdoors is off limits, and there have been no trips to Hogsmede, which means we haven't been able to get any Christmas gifts. We aren't going to be going home on the train like normal, the snow is too high, and so we have to floo our way home. I hate using the floo network; I always sneeze because of all the soot.

The worst thing is that I have no idea what to get for Scorpius! He got me that gorgeous necklace for my birthday and now I can't think of anything to match it! Last Christmas I bought him a book (yes, I know SO romantic) about charms class since he is so terrible at charms. Maybe I should do something more… "I love you" than that. I asked Ariel for help and she was anything but. "James and I have decided that we didn't want to base our relationship on what we give each other, so we aren't buying each other anything." She says things like that a lot ever since dating a seventh year. She wants to be mature enough for him. I think that would mean she would have to become less mature, because last time I checked, James' favorite hobby was getting spoons to stick to his nose. Oh so mature.

So far the only thing I know is that I am getting him a gift. And after I get him this mystery gift I don't know when I will be able to get it for him, Dad will be with me the whole break and I don't want him to get the idea that I have a special…someone in my life. Because seeing me buy a boy a gift would lead the inevitable question of "who" then after the "who" would come to the "why" which would lead to the "You are being transferred to Albania" conversation. None of which are conversations I want to endure.

Then, after I buy this mystery gift, and magically get my father to not see the gift nor ask any questions about the gift he did not see, how will I get Scorpius the gift before Christmas? Stupid snow. I have a thousand cousins I could ask for help from, but they are all far too nosy. I am just glad that after they found out about Scorpius and me they didn't go gossip crazy, which I totally expected them to do. This is so hard. I wonder what he is getting me? He always gets the best gifts. I have worn that necklace he got me for my birthday every day since he gave it to me. It goes with everything since it is silver. And I just _love-love-love _it. What girl doesn't love jewelry? Especially when it is from a boy? A totally sweet, hansom, and thoughtful boy. My boy. Ahh! What am I going to get him? This is just going to torture me. I'll just make a list. It is what I do best

Possible Gifts:

-uhhh I don't know

-still don't know!

-maybe a picture of us in a frame or something?

-a hat. Wait, a hat? What am I thinking?

-a long letter of adoration. Okay. I have no idea.

-seriously I need help.

-hmph.

-maybe I should ask Naomi, she's the creative type person.

Okay, I just asked Naomi, and she, being the doll she is, told me to make something. Me. I can't even make toast. Unless making something includes using magic (which is kinda cheating, don't you think?) that is totally out of the question. Naomi makes things every year. She has this huge collage of pictures and other memorabilia on this big corkboard hanging on her wall of all our time at Hogwarts. She expands it every year. It is totally awesome. But I could never do something cool like that. Give me scissors, a lump of clay, paper, ink, and a quill and all you get is a huge mess. A very bad idea if you ask me. My first class starts in 10 minutes I need to get going. But I don't know how I can concentrate on Transfiguration when I have something so important on my mind!

----Rosie

….. ♥ …..

Girl's Dormitory

Noon

Packing to leave for Christmas

I got an idea. Nope, I'm not going to tell yet, it's not finished and I don't want to get my hopes up that it will turn out well. I'll tell you when I feel like it. Which may be never. But oh well. I decided that I would make something, but I would use magic. If I make something then I won't have to shop when my dad's there. Which avoids the "who", "why", and "Albania" conversations. I already told Scorpius that he wouldn't get his gift until after Christmas. He said that he would forgive me eventually, and the kissed me sweetly on the cheek (people were there). Ariel only gave me one sarcastic "your relationship is less mature than mine" look. I just smiled and walked away touching my cheek gingerly. I still feel sparks whenever he kisses me. I love sparks. I hope they never go away.

Right now I am waiting for Hugo to be ready to leave for home. He is lake a girl, he takes forever to pack his things. But he is like a boy in the way he has to procrastinate so long before starting. Oh well. I have had my things packed since last night, giving me plenty of time to say my goodbyes. Naomi left with a signed note from all of her teachers saying that she is passing all the classes wonderfully and she should be able to play Quidditch for the rest of the year. But, she is still worried her parents won't let her play anyway. They want her to become a minister of magic, and wasting her life away on a broomstick would just get in the way. As if doing something that she loves and is marvelous at would get in the way.

Ariel gave me the biggest hug and kissed both of my cheeks before leaving. She had never done that, but I guess that being mature makes you do that. We all made plans to meet at Diagon alley in a few weeks to exchange gifts and horror stories of family get-togethers. My family is HUGE. Well, the Weasley side is anyway. The Granger side of the family is really small. Miniscule. Just Gramma and Papa. It's like two separate worlds: a small muggle Christmas gathering versus a busting at the seams magical fiasco. Haha, yikes.

It looks like Hugo is finally ready to leave. I might not write again until after Christmas, I may not have time! Especially if Percy's wife finally had their twins, I might be on baby-sitting duty. Imagine it! New little baby twins for Christmas! That would be so exciting.

----Rosie

….. ♥ …..

In my Bedroom

Midnight

Escaping Hugo

Christmas has past. It was generally a good pool this year. I got new dress robes (I had this horrible pair that looked like it was meant to be worn by a troll, absolutely dreadful) they are gorgeous. I also got a new pair of sneakers, mine had gotten holes at the toes. From Hugo I received some sort of contraption from "Weasley's Wizard Wheezes" and some sweets. Grandmother knit me her annual sweater; it's deep purple and has an "R" on the front. She made one for Dad too, it's this ugly maroon color and it also has an "R" on the front. It clashed terribly with his hair. Uncle Harry could not stop laughing when Dad walked out of his room Christmas morning, and neither could I. Grandpa gave me some muggle storybooks (he is absolutely obsessed with muggles. I bet he wished he were a muggle himself). Gramma and Papa Granger gave me some new clothes (ones I would actually wear, not like the annual Christmas Sweater) and money. It was muggle money, but I can exchange it later.

I haven't stopped thinking about Scorpius. In just a week I will get to see him again. I can't wait until then. I can see his beautiful brown eyes…

Okay I'm back. I just miss him so much!! Ah!

Speaking of which, Hugo mentioned to my dad that I had been spending a lot of time with my boyfriend (which he said in the most "and you will never believe who it is" voice). So, now Dad has spent all his energy trying to pry this certain bit of information out of me. Mom is smart enough to stay out. She knows that bothering me will not help. That or she just doesn't care. Well, she probably cares, since she _is_ my mother.

Have I mentioned that I miss my boyfriend?

Because I do.

A lot.

Scorpius.

----Rosie

….. ♥ …..

At home

8:00 am

Ready to leave

I went to Diagon Alley a few days ago and saw my friends. Ariel was more her normal self. She was laughing and cracking jokes like she always would. I hate it when she is being "mature Ariel". It is totally immature. Dad followed me there and pretty much stalked me the whole day. He wanted to make sure I wasn't really meeting up with my "mystery lover". His words not mine. But I did see Scorpius. Unfortunately, his father was there too. And he was sure to sneer at me over his nose. I can't believe how different Scorpius is from his father. Draco Malfoy is stuck up, rude, and in love with being pure blood. Scorpius Malfoy is humble, sweet, and (as far as I can tell) is in love with Rosie Weasley. Scorpius gave me a small smile before turning his head. I guess he hasn't gotten around to telling his father about me. I don't blame him. It looks like Mr. Malfoy Sr. would be almost as mad as Dad. Or worse, I've never met Scorpius's Father.

Poor, poor Scorpius, he probably has to hide his entire life from his father. At least I only have to hide the fact that I'm dating my father's worst enemy's only child. I hope he never. EVER. Finds out.

Ever.

----Rosie

….. ♥ …..


	3. Chapter 3

If Everything Stays the Same

**If Everything Stays the Same...**

In the Girl's Dormitory

Almost Midnight

Feeling a bit lonely

I haven't written in a while. So I will update you on everything that is going on in the exciting world of Hogwarts. I gave Scorpius his gift the instant I saw him on the Hogwarts Express. I made him a blanket (green, like Slytherin) and some chocolates. I had my mun help me. I told her that they were for my friends, which is not a lie. Some of the chocolates went to Lily, Ariel, and Rosie but most of the candy was for Scorpius. And just so you know, melting chocolate and then pouring it into the little cups to shape it is not easy. The whole kitchen was a mess and most of the chocolate did not make it through the ordeal. Mum just laughed at me, flicker her wand and the mess was gone, but it was still humiliating. When I am married and running a house I have NO IDEA what I will feed them. Luckily, I don't need to know yet. I'm only sixteen.

Ariel is still "mature" for her love. But what she doesn't know is that James took off his top and had an intense snowball fight with his "mature" seventh year friends. He began to complain loudly that his nipples were going to fall off. This was apparently very hilarious and he kept going on and on about his missing nipples for the rest of the afternoon. Where was the 'immature unless she is with her mature boyfriend' Ariel? She was picking out her mature new outfit and hairstyle for their mature eight month anniversary. Maybe she will realize that maturity is not the way to keep a hold of him.

Naomi is a keeper on the Gryffindor Quidditch team. She spends all her time practicing now. I think it is great that she is finally able to pursue her dream. She is always happy (and sweaty, but I think I can overlook that) and she constantly talks about the save she made in a practice or a game or random facts about quidditch in general.

On to things between me and Scorpius. It has been two months since Christmas, and I think I love him even even more. I hope things either never change or get better. We have been starting to study Charms together, he needs all the help he can get, we also work on Transfiguration and Care of Magical Creatures. Scorpius really hates that class, he doesn't want to deal with those animals. He doesn't hate half breeds or anything he just had a 'bad experience' when he was a first year. Some slugs got in his robes and one bit his leg. He swears that there is a scar, but I think he is being dramatic. During these study sessions we have had a lot of time to talk. He thinks that it is almost time for us to tell our parents. We've been dating for over a year. I don't know if I'm ready to break it to my dad that I'm in love with the spawn of his arch nemesis.

Maybe he will just forget that idea before it gets to ingrained in his mind.

There is no way I am letting my dad kill my boyfriend.

Because if he finds out, Scorpius is dead.

--Rosie

In Charms Class

a little after lunch

Synopsis of Conversation with Scorpius

He is still persisting that I tell dad that I am dating (and in love with) him. Why? Doesn't he know that my father will KILL him. As in painful and quite possibly bloody. Okay, definitely very bloody. And gory and death-filled. And he might not even feel sorry about it later when I am clawing my heart out so that no one can break it again. I am definitely never telling my dad unless this kind of honest suddenly makes my dad okay with a boy. Which will never happen.

So I am going to tell you how this all started. I was sitting at breakfast staring at a pile of pancakes trying to decide if I have anymore room in my stomach to eat five more pancakes. Ariel was counting grapes so that she couldn't eat too many an get bloated. That's what mature people do at least. And Naomi was talking animatedly to James, the Captain of the Quidditch team, about the game the night before. I was about to grab three pancakes (I decided I couldn't force down five) when Scorpius came down from the Slytherin table and tapped me on my shoulder.

I love it when he does that. It is electrifying. He has a light yet firm tap. Now you may be saying "Who cares, I don't" but get over it, I want to remember the little things that I love about him too. Anyway, he tapped me with his ring finger and middle finger. This immediately sent chills (the good ones) all up and down my spine. "We need to talk." he says. And all the chills stop.

Now, I do not consider myself an expert on relationships, but every time I have ever heard of any guy in a relationship say "we need to talk" to his significant other it was not a good thing. It was a terminal "It's not you it's me" thing. A "but I still want to be friends" thing. A thing I did not want to hear.

But I still went.

We walked outside the Great Hall and stood next to the large hourglasses. I thought "If this is where our beautiful relationship was going to end I could never get class points again. All I would be able to think about is that this is where it happened. My over-achieving days are over." I looked down at his shiny perfect shoes. He grabbed my arms, lightly, and said my name, "Rosie". I had to look up into his perfect green eyes. I started to cry. He hugged me, which just made it worse, and rocked me back and forth. I kept crying. He talked to me in a quiet voice, "What's wrong?" I folded my arms and snorted my suddenly stuffed nose attractively.

"Just say what you were going to say." I sniffed dismissively. There was no way I was going to look into those amazing eyes as he broke my heart into five million pieces. So I continued to stare at his shoes. "And hurry my next class is in a half an hour." I gave him a withering stare. And it would have totally broke him down and made him squirm. But I looked into his eyes and totally broke all over again.

He hugged me. I cried more. "Rose, why are you crying so hard?"

"Just say what you were going to say already." I crossed my arms while he was still hugging me. It felt very awkward, but I wanted there to be distance when he broke it to me.

"Rosie," he hugged me harder, "I think it's time."

"Time?" I choked. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it...

"We need to tell our parents." What?!

"What?!" I stepped back, aghast. "You aren't breaking up with me?"

"Of course not!" He murmured. "I just think that if things stay the way they are we can never go forward, so the logical next step is letting our parents know. As soon as possible."

I crossed my arms in a huff, "I wish we were breaking up." He laughed and kissed me on the forehead. "No seriously, I can not tell my dad about us. He will explode and then kill me, or even worse, he would kill you. I am not ready for you to die. I am so not ready for you to die. And you aren't ready. And please don't make me do that!"

"Please think about it." he said sweetly, "Have fun in potions. I love you." I said I loved him to and conversation was over. But all I can think about is how I can not and WILL NEVER tell my dad about Scorpius. He is crazy to think I would even consider it. Right now he is learning how to sew things with the charm we learned it class. It is more of a practical charm that girls would need to use, but he has to learn it anyway. He is no where near getting the needle to to anything but wiggle. Normally I would help him say the word right, but after he gets it he might talk to me about...you know.

Okay, now it's just getting sad. The needle has stopped wiggling. Darn my good heart and love for this stupid boy. I'll help him now. Maybe he has something else to talk about.

--Rosie

In the Common Room

Around ten o'clock

An update on a previous subject

Scorpius is insane. He came up to me while I was on my way back to the common room after supper. He tapped me on my shoulder, I got chills, and he pulled me aside. I smiled at him, he kissed me, I got even bigger chills. They were more like electric shocks. I love it when he kisses me. We don't kiss often because I hate it when people look at me when I want to be invisible. There is nothing like expressing an intimate moment between two people and every person who is around has to make it their business. Point, I hate kissing at Hogwarts. But, fortunately, this time no one was around except a few Gryffindors, so it was a moment totally between me and Scorpius (and Ariel, James, Naomi, Lily, Carla, Vivien, and Hugo).

Back on the 'Scorpius is insane' subject. He pulled me aside, kissed me, and then asked me "So, have you thought about what I asked you the other day?"

In reply to this, I give him my most feminine snort. (When I say 'feminine' I mean 'loud and obnoxious' or 'annoying and disgusting' totally not feminine.) "No, honestly I haven't. I thought this would just blow over or disappear." I make a sign of shooing away something with my hands.

"Not at all?" he looked very disappointed, and I felt a twinge of guilt, "Why not Rosie?"

I folded my arms and avoided his stare, I did feel a _little bit_ guilty. "Because I like what we have and I don't want my dad to ruin it. I promise he will kill you."

This made him laugh.

And was was definitely not joking.

"Really, Scorpius, he will force us to break up and I don't want that to end. I am not ready."

He lifted up my chin, "Do you really think that my father will be dancing in circles because of us? No! He might possibly react even worse than your dad. My father HATES your dad. Do you know why?"

"Because my dad's family mars the name of 'pureblood' and then made matters worse by marrying a _mudblood_." I spat out the last word.

He shrugged, "Yes, maybe. But I am pretty sure it is jealousy. At first my dad tried to befriend your uncle Harry, but he chose you dad instead of mine. Your uncle was going to be powerful just because he is Harry Potter. Then, he didn't only not choose him, he chose someone that his father hated. Your father actually had talent on the Quidditch field, and even though my dad was not the keeper he still wanted that talent. He had to _buy _his way onto the Slytherin team. After the big show off between Harry and Voldemort Harry's side ended up on top and exulted, Voldemort's side was ridiculed. Not only that, but the only reason he even survived was that your father and uncle saved him. It seemed like your father rode into fame on your uncle's coat tails. But that is not the problem. Harry chose your dad. If he had chosen mine my dad would have had the fame. And I know he really wanted it. He still wants to be important. After Voldemort's demise, my grandfather's fame was nullified, leaving my father with nothing he was used to, and your father had everything he wanted."

I shrugged, "All the more reason to NOT tell them. EVER." I smiles sweetly, hoping that would put my argument over the top.

"I want them to know."

"Well, I don't"

"Either you tell them or I don't do this" he tapped my shoulder "or this" he kissed me "until you do."

"Seriously?"

"No. I would miss it too much. Just please tell them."

I shook my head. "No way."

"Think about it."

"Oh yeah, and that worked out so well last time."

He grinned at me the held both of my shoulders. "Just think about it."

And so I have thought and came out with this conclusion: Scorpius is insane! But I love him. Why do I love that boy so much?

--Rosie

At the breakfast table

early.

Dumbfounded

I actually have thought about telling my dad about Scorpius and I. But in every scenario in my mind I have ended up in Albania. Just like when I was going to buy him a gift, only this time I will not only be sent to Albania, I am going to be in an _all girls_ school in Albania. As in only girls. No boys. Specifically, no boys named Scorpius Malfoy. Whom I love. Like crazy.

Thankfully, he hasn't started that obnoxious conversation we had in my last entry. Which unfortunately is all I can think about. The crazy kid has gotten into my head. But he is not saying things like "I love you" or "You are all I can think about" or even "I like you teeth". (He has actually said that to me. It was sometime when we were studying Charms, I was explaining one of the spells we were learning. I kept saying a certain incantation over and over again trying to get him to repeat me. Of course he was being a guy, so he was being stubborn and he would not repeat me. Instead he just looked at me and said "I like your teeth. They're really straight and shiny." I hit him and told him that if he didn't repeat me I would never smile again. So he repeated me, and he finally made the apple we were experimenting on spin like a top.) But all he says in my head is "Just think about it." And 'it' couldn't be my teeth. Or his teeth.

Today I don't have any classes with him, which makes me sad. Actually, I haven't seen him at all yet today. Which is really odd, because he loves breakfast. Where did he go? I am going looking for him. I'll write later. Maybe. You know me.

--Rosie

In Charms Class

After Lunch

Finished "charming"

Once again, I am sitting here bored out of my mind, while Scorpius is desperately trying to make a pincushion implode. Yes, we are making pincushions implode. Why would we do that? Because Professor Flitwick is making us. No one would ever need to make something implode. Especially something so inconsequential as a pincushion. But it doesn't matter, mine imploded after one try. Now I am here waiting for him to finish because he has decided that he wants to look more 'manly' and figure things out himself. Or just wait until later and I can tell him while we study together. It will be very romantic.

There is nothing really to say, Which is sad. Don't you hate it when NOTHING is happening in life? (Yes I know you are an inanimate object, but it's a rhetorical question). Ariel is still absolutely mature. She gave herself a new haircut that is supposed to add a few years and frame her face. It's not bad actually. It was just a shock when she comes downstairs to the common room suddenly sporting a new short do. It's shorter than shoulder length. She gave herself a bob. Again it's not bad, it actually looks good. It's just really shocking. I screamed. (okay, it was more like a squeal. I ran up to her and began to mess up her hair. It was just so _short_!!)

Oh! Oh! Sirius actually made the pincushion implode! Ah! I am so proud of him! I am going to congratulate him.

Okay, it has seriously been five minutes since I wrote anything. It just looks like two seconds. You might be wondering "Why is she writing in her journal if her wonderful boyfriend is right there looking all talk-able?" Good question. Here is the problem. I am now really mad at him. Furious. Here's the story.

He had just made his cushion implode all on his own. I was very proud of him. So I hugged him, kissed his head, and told him how amazingly proud I was of him. He smiled at me with his amazing big white smile that makes me melt. I began melting. You would think that if I have been with him for over a YEAR I would have stopped acting like a childish girl with a crush, but I like feeling like butterflies have permanently nestled themselves in my stomach. So I gave him my blinky eyes. He said that he loves with when I do that. Apparently, people call this 'fluttering your eyelashes', but that sounds to..sophisticated for what I am actually doing. Thus the term 'blinky eyes'. Back to the story. I gave him my blinky eyes and he laughed.

"I have something to tell you." he said. I smiled. He sounded really excited so it had to be something really good.

"Okay." I said, hoping that it was something along the line of 'We are going to have a romantic lunch in Hogsmede this weekend.' (This weekend is Valentines day).

"You remembered what I asked you to do?" he smiled. "Think about telling your dad about us."

I groaned in response. "Maybe. I might possible remember."

"And..."

"I've thought about it a _little_."

"And..."

I shook my head, "No way. I can not tell my dad about us. I like you breathing, and that would stop if I ever told him. I want you to keep breathing for a long long time."

"Well, I have been thinking too."

"Oh no." I groaned loudly. "You think too much. No more thinking for you."

He grinned. "Well, I told my dad."

I stopped breathing. "What?"

"I told me dad."

I stood up and back away. "You did WHAT?"

"I told my dad that I am going out with you."

I stepped even further away. "Please tell me you are kidding."

"You know that I am not."

I groaned even louder. "I am going over there now, and you just, go and take care of this."

"And what do you suggest I do."

"Turn back time and not do THAT." I picked up my books and walked away.

"Are you really this angry at me Rosie?"

"Yes."

He walked up to me and I backed away. "Can we talk about this?"

"Fist let me digest it. I just found out that there is a ninety nine percent chance I will be dead by morning. I think I deserve time to digest this." I walked to the other side of the room and sat by Ariel and now here I am pouring my heart and soul into my Journal. Class should be over soon, I need to be able to run away so that _he _won't come and talk to me. I am still digesting. But I still love that boy. Even though he is STUPID.

--Rosie


	4. Chapter 4

Call It What You Want

**Call It What You Want**

In the Girl's Dormitory

Midnight

Still annoyed.

Well, it has been five hours since the Charms debacle. He has sent me four owls. I haven't read them but they are sitting there looking very unopened and not promising in the slightest. I am stuck between wondering what in the world he wants to say and not caring in the slightest what he wants to say. Which is working wonders on my nerves. I hate stress, and this is stressful.

I don't think I am really _mad _at him, just annoyed. If he wants to tell his father about us he can, I just felt ambushed. Like, not that Draco Malfoy knows Scorpius expects Ron Weasley to know. I am not ready for Ron Weasley to have a clue. So I am avoiding my boyfriend in hopes that this will just blow over without a thought. That suddenly Scorpius's dad will be hit over the head with a large boulder or hit with a memory erasing charm. Either way Scorpius will not expect me to tell my dad.

Ariel is walking around gloating about the depth of her relationship that she has with James. This is almost as annoying as Scorpius telling his father. I am sick of everything that happens with Scorpius and I being too 'immature' and 'shallow'. If I were a mean person I would turn and remind her that James gave her a necklace with the words "my boyfriend has the sexiest girlfriend" for her last birthday. Or that on my birthday last year he made my cake explode when I blew out the candles. Or that, apparently, in his last History of magic class he began to charm the miscellaneous objects on Binns' desk to dance thus distracting the class and now they are never going to remember anything about the end of the Goblin wars. Yes, James and Ariel make the most mature couple at Hogwarts if you ask me. (Did you pick up on the subtle sarcasm?)

I keep staring at those letters. Part of me wants to open them and stare at his handwriting. I already miss him. I am going to die this summer when I am going to be separated from him for months. Yet another reason to NOT tell my father. I would not only not see him for a few months but I would never see Scorpius the rest of my life. Yeah, I think I am fine with my dad ignorant of my dating situation.

Okay, I give in I need to know what he is saying.

_Rosie-_

_I know you are mad at me, but you need to understand that I really, really want this whole thing to be over with. What if you dad finds out and he his just happy that you are happy? _(I laughed out loud when I read that) _Please tell him. My father took the shock quite well considering how much he hates your father. _

_Please tell him. _

_I love you,_

_Scorpius_

I sighed. Scorpius is very naïve to think that my dad will just be happy that I am happy. Even the happy people get hurt by the mean people. That is what he would say, or at least something to that effect. I turned to the letter that arrived second.

_Rosie, _

_Okay, I understand that you think that I did a very bad thing. But let me at least tell you how it happened. Two nights ago I wrote dad a letter telling him that I had something very important to tell him, but I needed to say it in person. The next day my dad apparated into Hogsmede and Headmaster McGonagall gave me permission to go and see him at the three broomsticks. _

_I told him that I had been seeing a girl for some time now and I thought he should know about it, so that this summer we could see each other. He nodded curtly at me. Then I told him I was seeing you. _

_I have to say, his reaction was funny. He did this strange twitch and spilled his firewiskey across the table. "Rosie Weasley. The daughter of the mudblood and the blood traitor?" It wasn't a question, but I nodded yes anyway. He turned a few shades of red, said nothing else then left. I didn't know what to say, so I just left to. He was outside and when I was beside him he turned to me, said a few choice words then left. _

_See? My dad is not mad at you, he is just pissed at me for betraying the "Malfoy Family Honor." Like I care. My dad might stew for a while, but my mother would never let him cut me off completely. If my family can take it that I am dating you then why would it be so hard for you to tell your family about me? Please seriously consider telling your parents. Please. _

_Even more love,_

_Scorpius_

Stupid boy. There is no way my dad would do what his did. Mine would have a fit of seismic proportions. He would probably find a use for that crazy imploding Charm. The next one looked smaller than the second letter. I opened it, and I could tell by his handwriting that he was stressed at the moment when he wrote it. He had pushed the quill harder against the parchment and his penmanship was a bit messy.

_Rosie,_

_Where are you? I just want to talk to you about what went wrong. Please leave your hiding place and come and talk to me. I will be in the Library where we study together. Please come and see me, we can talk. We don't even have to talk about telling your parents. I just want you to stop being mad at me._

_I love you!!_

_Scorpius_

I laughed. He was acting just how I felt. I wanted to go to the Library, but the naughty part of my wanted to make him ache for me even more. The last letter was even shorter that all of ones before it. There was only one sentence written on it:

_Could you at least write back to me? _

If it wasn't so late I would run down to the library to see him, but of course he has already gone back to the Slytherin dormitory. I would write him, but I am tired of writing. I will just see him tomorrow morning. Maybe I should at least write him something so that he knows I don't hate him.

_Scorpius,_

_I am not mad at you. I just want you to stop pressuring me to tell my dad. I will see you in the morning, right now I am tired and I want to wash the filth of today out of my brain. _

_I love you too!_

_Rosie._

That should do. Well, goodnight. I am tired of today.

--Rosie

In the Great Hall

Determined

Dinner

So I spent the whole day with Scorpius at Hogsmede. It has been a few weeks since I last wrote, sorry. Here is a quick update. Naomi has fallen hard for a seventh year Huffelpuff named Daniel Greene. He is the seeker for their Quidditch team. In the words of Naomi, "He is absolutely perfect. Have you seen his eyes? He has these amazing dark blue eyes. Of course, I haven't been able to look at them properly so I am pretty sure they are dark blue. You know what else I love? His hair. It is this amazing dusty blonde color. It looks so soft. Don't you think it looks so soft? Wouldn't you just love to touch it?" This is where I grunt an acknowledgement to her question, " I would so love to touch it. Did you see his last Quidditch match? The one where he caught the snitch at the last second before being able to pull out of the nose dive and made Courtney Higgins crash on to the ground? It was spectacular."

She normally goes on to describe the exact details of this scene. I nod here and there and tell her that she should go for it. They sound perfect for each other.

James and Ariel had a fight yesterday. This was their first fight ever. She was talking about how immature some people were acting during dinner. Flinging food at people and such, then James said that he was tired of her looking down on everyone who does anything slightly resembling out of line. They argued about whether or not what she was going was actually wrong and they haven't talked since. I tried to be a comfort but she was feeling very snippy and said "Do go and give me your sympathy. I am not below you. James and I are fine. This fight just means we have an open relationship, unlike your dysfunctional mess. So go and look in the mirror before you give me any of your 'help'." Now she is fighting with her boyfriend and with me.

That is your update. After the whole fight about Scorpius telling his father about our relationship all I can think about is whether or not I should tell mine. My dad would be mad, but would my mother be able to mellow him out? I mean, make him not kill my boyfriend. That would be fantastic.

I would mention this to Scorpius but that would end up in a situation similar (but not exactly the same) to the one we were in a few weeks ago. Arguing over whether or not I should tell my parents and we would be fighting, and that would give me something in common with Ariel. And that is the last thing I want at the moment. I would tell Ariel but she would just find another way to insult the current status of my relationship, which makes no sense seeing the status of her relationship. Telling Naomi is out of the question too. It would get us on the subject of _Daniel Greene_. And as much as I love the fact that she finally has something to occupy her time besides Quidditch, I am tired of constantly hearing about how fantastic he is. And talking about boy/girl relationships of any kind would get us on that subject.

I'll just think about it more.

--Rosie

In the Common Room

So Angry

Trying to avoid _her_ at all costs

Ariel is the worst person in all of Hogwarts at the moment. Was writing my last entry, not knowing that Ariel was reading over my shoulder. Of course she had her own opinion. Not on what I should do, but on my 'which makes no sense seeing the status of her relationship' comment. This journal is for my thoughts to _myself_, but apparently my life quite literally is an open book to her.

She began to tell me off on the spot as soon as I was finished. "What do you mean 'the status of my relationship'? My relationship is fine. Yours is the one that has issues. I have an idea. Keep your thoughts to yourself. Because you have no idea what you are talking about."

Normally I am a pacifist or a non-confrontationalist but that really irked me. "I _was_ keeping my thoughts to myself. This is my journal. You know what that is? A special book where I write down my thoughts and about experiences so I don't have to tell people what I think to their face. If you really want to know what I think or actually want to know what is like to not keep my thoughts to myself then here is what I think." I proceeded to tell her that her 'mature' relationship was a piece of crap and the only thing mature about it is that they are not twelve. I told her that there is no good communication, since someone who actually know James, who had actually talked to him would know that his favorite hobby is blowing spitballs at Binns, giving himself points depending on what part of the ghost he hit. Of course maybe that is how mature people really act. I mean, how would I know? I am the immature one with the faltering relationship anyway. Aren't I? That was a rhetorical question.

Then she smacked me in the face. It stung but I hit her right back. Of course that didn't go to a very good place. To make a long (and a tad bloody) story short I have detention this Saturday. Right now she is in the Hospital wing complaining of internal damage. Of course she is being dramatic and trying to make me look like the bad guy. The only thing wrong with her is a bruise right beneath her left eye.

But right before we were torn away she did say one more cutting thing, "Call it what you want, but at least I love James. If you actually loved Scorpius you wouldn't be afraid to tell your dad. Because if you really did love him you would _want _your parents to know."

This sucks. The bitch is right.

--Rosie


	5. Chapter 5

Live for Life or Love

**Live for Life or Love? **

In the Girl's Dormitory

Anxious

Waiting for Naomi

Naomi is on her first date with _Daniel_. I don't know what you do in a date when it is not a Hogsmede weekend, but at least Daniel is being creative. I am actually really excited for her, despite my sarcastic tone when I write about them. Naomi is so excited, meaning she talks about him all the time. I am happy she is excited, but maybe she could talk about "the cute little freckles on his nose" a little less.

Was I anything like that when things between Scorpius and I started? No, I was trying to keep everything secret. (There are Weasley eyes everywhere). I wouldn't go blabbing about it to every female who would dare to stand still. But I know I wanted to. Now that I think about it, I was so excited that things were working out the way I wanted them to. The boy of my dreams liked me. And I was not his 'type'. Well, not his friends' 'type'. They all like Slytherin girls whose favorite hobby is….cursing first years or something. (Okay, so I don't know what Slytherin girls actually do other then torment Gryffindors.) Either way, if I knew people would have taken it so well, I would have ran through the corridors singing at the top of my lungs. And I don't sing.

What was I talking about? Oh yes, Naomi. She spent all afternoon getting ready. I was helping of course, that's what friends do. We pulled her hair up into something slightly resembling a bun, but it didn't look bad. We didn't' do much makeup on her because she never wears any and she prefers to look natural. At exactly seven o'clock _Daniel_ showed up and she was off, blushing her cheeks off. I have some homework that I need to finish, it is already basically done but I have a few sentences I want to add and correct a few errors. I might write later.

--Rosie

In the Common Room

A bit tired

Details!

She just got back and gave me a very detailed play by play of her night. So I decided to write it down.

7:00: _Daniel _picked Naomi up and he wouldn't tell her where they were going. They began to walk down the hallway and they began to talk. He told her she looked very pretty. (At this time Naomi began to swoon about how marvelous he is, but I will spare you the gory details. You probably know how it went). They began to talk about the only thing they know that they have in common at the moment (Quidditch). "Did you see the match between Ravenclaw and Slytherin?"

"Of course, what did you think about that hit from Reeves?"

"I'm surprised Perry was out of the hospital wing so quickly. That was a magnificent hit, I would have been proud if one of my beaters ever had such great aim and strength in one blow." Apparently he is the captain of the Huffelpuff House team.

"I'm pretty sure I never want your beaters to be able to do that. Of course I am a big fan of the hospital wing. Maybe Perry is, but I am not."

"Well, I wouldn't want them to hit you, it might mess up your pretty face." This led to even more swooning. By now they had reached the fourth floor and approached the large painting of a fruit basket. "Tickle the pear." Apparently as he said this he grabbed her hand. So she couldn't help but tickle the pear, he would keep holding her hand.

The pear turned into a large doorknob and when _Daniel_ opened it he revealed the large school kitchen. There were hundreds of house elves and at least thirty of them ran up to the couple with platters of appetizers.

7:45: Dinner is served: Mashed potatoes, Roast beef, carrots, Beans, and soup, all of her favorites (well, she did pick the menu). They ate and began to talk about their lives. She told him about her parents and her life's ambition to join the Chudley cannons. This led to a heated discussion about whether or not they actually have the potential of winning a game.

He began to talk about his life. He was born in France while his parents were in vacation, and now he lives in a small Wizarding town close to Godric's Hallow. His mother is a stay at home mom and his dad is a broom repairman. "He can fix almost every problem you can approach him with, the only things that can stop him are curses. If someone has cursed your broom then you have no chance." He has an older brother (Jared) who is finishing his studies to be a healer, and an older sister (Marley) who works at the Daily Prophet writing in the Wizarding World section. Now she is living in China reporting on the discovery of a new breed of dragon that can apparently swim at great depths and fly.

9:00: They go on a walk in the grounds. They are still talking endlessly about themselves. Now she is on the subject of her friends. She mentions me and this is apparently of great interest. "Do you mean Ron Weasley's daughter?"

"Yes."

"He came to my house during Christmas break to get his broom fixed" (he broke it playing Quidditch with my Uncles George, Bill, and Harry, and my Aunt Ginny played too) "and he was talking about her."

"About Rosie?"

"Yeah, he was talking about how she was ignoring her family and acting secretive. I don't know why he was telling my mum and dad though; I think he said his wife "doesn't want to hear another word on the subject". He said that he thinks she is hiding something from him."

"Huh." I really liked this answer when she told me that's what she said in reply to these terrible accusations, "Why does it matter?"

"I don't know, I just thought it was odd. He kept going on and on about how he thinks she has gone and gotten her heart broken by a boy. I thought this was ridiculous. I told him 'No, she's been seeing the same boy for over a year now and they seem fine'."

When Naomi told me this I was very nervous, obviously. So my dad knows that I have been seeing a guy, great. That's exactly what I wanted. (Did you pick up on the subtle sarcasm there?)

"Why did you have to ask if he was her dad then?"

"I don't know, there are so many Weasleys running around I wouldn't be surprised if there were two Rosie Weasleys. That family seems to breed like rabbits." Now she could have left that out of her story.

10:00: He drops her off at the portrait of the Fat Lady and now here we are talking all about a boy. She was very excited. Ariel had gone to bed hours ago, apparently she doesn't care how Naomi's date went. Of course she might not even know that there was a date in the first place, Naomi has been mad at her for a while. (Ariel said something along the lines of "Do you realize that your little crush is really annoying. You don't even know him. You just think he is attractive—which he is not—and that he is a good Quidditch player. There is more to people than Quidditch. Of course, all you seem to care about is that insipid sport."). But Ariel has been a bit testy lately.

Naomi and I sat in the common room picking apart every detail of the night to find out how much he really likes her before Naomi almost fell asleep analyzing his parting words to her, "See you in the morning." I guess having your first date with an amazing Quidditch player named _Daniel_ is exhausting.

When she was heading up to her bed she turned to me and yawned. Then she said as a bit of an afterthought of our earlier conversation, "You know, your dad is really popular. He is going to find out about Scorpius anyway, why don't you tell him?"

"Just because."

"Whatever, goodnight." Then she slowly made her way back to the dormitory. But I am sitting here documenting the drama known as my life. School gets out in a few weeks and I am going to be separated from Scorpius for THREE MONTHS. Yes, three months when I am not with my baby. Oh I'm going to miss that boy.

--Rosie

In the Library

Apathetic

Taking a study break

Our exams are this week and I have been studying a lot. But I just realized that big things have happened since I last wrote.

Ariel and James stayed together after their big fight but things have been noticeably rocky. They fight a lot, Ariel is getting angrier and angrier at everyone in sight and likes take her aggression on anyone who dares to look in her direction. I thought this would only last a few weeks, this whole constantly fighting thing. But it went on for a month. They broke up and got back together so many times I can't count it without getting a time turner. They would sometimes break up and make up multiple times in a week.

Finally, two days ago there was a huge fight in the Main Hall. She was screaming at him and he was yelling right back, it was getting ugly. I am surprised no one drew wands. I couldn't even tell what they were saying. I don't know if each other knew what the other one was saying. But, if you looked at their faces you could get the point. After ten minutes of screaming Ariel was a mess with long tears streaming down her face and James looking more serious and furious I have ever seen him in my life. (Even more than the time Si stole his new goods from Weasley's Wizarding Wheezes and threw them into the toilet). Then he croaked, "I am done. Really done." Then he turned and walked out the doors onto the grounds.

Ariel turned and ran up the stairs towards the Gryffindor Dormitories. I decided to follow her. Yes, she had been terrible to me the past month, and I was still a bit mad at her. But, I was, quite possibly, her only friend at the moment.

I was right. She needed me. She is still a mess, but it was time for that relationship to end. It was getting to mature for her (at least it was in her head). Luckily school will be over in a few days, she just needs to go a while not seeing him so that she can get over him properly.

Unfortunately, school is going to be over in a few days. And I am going to be gone from my favorite guy for months and months. Also, he has begun to bring up my favorite subject again. "Will you please tell him this summer Rosie?"

A very large part of me (my head) is screaming "NO NOT TELL HIM UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES". But another large part of me (my heart) is whispering two phrases over and over again. "How can you really say you love him if you cannot even tell your family about him?" and "Won't he just find out anyway?"

I don't know what to do!

--Rosie

On the Hogwarts Express

Determined

I'm gong to do it

I am going to do it. I have decided that Ariel is right. If I am not even going to tell my parents about the boy I love then do I really love him? No. I have always wanted to tell him, I am just afraid they wont like him or accept him.

You should have seen him when I told him I was going to do it. His face came alive. It was like he was a little boy on Christmas. "Really? You are actually going to tell him that you are dating me?"

"Yes."

"When? I want to know when it is happening."

I hadn't thought about this. I needed a date or else I might chicken out. "Er, tonight. The sooner the better." This made him even happier. Seriously. I think if he smiled any bigger he would be laughing.

"I will be thinking about you all night!" he gave me a huge hug; I was going to miss this during our loooooong time apart. "I am so proud of you." I just kept holding him. Unfortunately Professor Longbottom saw us and made us stop. Apparently, Hogwarts frowns on public displays of affection.

"I am going to miss you this summer Rosie. Write me all the time and tell me how it goes." I assured him that I would and then we got on the train and sat in our compartment. We are going to play Wizarding Chess. I always beat him (I get this from my dad, he was a really really good Wizarding Chess player. He says that once it even saved their lives). I just wanted to update you on the goings on and tell you that I am really going to do it. By the end of tonight my dad will know.

If I can do it.

--Rosie


	6. Chapter 6

Come Right Out and Say It

**Come Right Out and Say It**

In my Room

Annoyed

Trying to get the courage

I've been home for three hours and I haven't told him about my "secret love affair" with Scorpius. My original plan was to get off the train, hug him, and then tell him that I needed to tell him something. Because there is no way I was going to be murdered in front of all my Hogwarts friends. But, telling him that I had something to tell him would give him a way to bring it up.

Unfortunately, only mum came to pick us up. Dad had an emergency at work and needed to stay a while longer and he was very sorry that he missed it. I was relieved, Mum began fussing over Hugo and it gave me one more chance to say goodbye to Scorpius. "Remember, you promised to tell him tonight." He reminded me with earnest.

"Yeah, yeah." I dismissed him, hoping I wouldn't have to think about that for a while. "Before midnight I'll be dead. That or you'll be dead. I'm not sure if he'll be up for a trip tonight."

"Everything will be fine. I promise." He kissed my forehead.

I dismiss him again, "Yeah, yeah." We had to end our conversation there, because his dad walked up. This was the first time I was encountering Mr. Malfoy since he found out about us and, let me tell you, I was intimidated. Scorpius seemed just as awkward as I felt, which wasn't a good sign. "Oh, Rosie, meet my father, Draco Malfoy."

Mr. Malfoy gave me a curt nod, and I kind of smiled. Then, Mrs. Malfoy walked up. I had never met her either. She looked dangerously beautiful. Her skin was light but everything else was dark. Her hair was black and her eyes were blacker. Her robes accentuated the fact that her body was just as gorgeous as her face. But was struck me hardest was when I realized she was definitely foreign. I would guess that she was from the Middle East around Turkey or Lebanon. But what made me squirm was the fact that she looked dangerous, beautiful and dangerous. Like she could claw my eyes out and not feel sorry about it if I DARED to hurt her baby boy. Yikes.

I considered telling my mom first so that I could get the wording right and maybe have some support, but Hugo has been hanging off of her all day. And I suspect that she already knows. I mean, seriously she's supposed to have a "mother's intuition" and, unless it's broken, she knew a long time ago. So I've been sitting here wording and rewording it over and over until I have my approach nailed down.

"Dad, I have some good news!…." No that seems a bit…wrong under the circumstances. That's like saying "I made your favorite dinner" (roast and potatoes) "except it's made out of hippogriff meat, is that okay?" No, that won't work.

"I have something I need to tell you, it's really big, don't get mad. I mean, PLEASE don't get mad. Just let me finish talking first. You see, I'm your daughter and I'm a…girl, and I like…boys…." Okay, that's just scrambled and anticlimactic. He'd probably lose interest. Or maybe that's what I want to happen. I'm getting tired, I hope he gets home soon. Okay, that's a lie. I'm afraid of him getting home at all.

But if he doesn't get home soon I will fall asleep.

"Dad, I'm dating your worst enemy's one and only son….. What?…. Well, yeah I did keep it from you…. Well, yeah it's been a while since we got together…. Yes I know you hate him…. What? I'm moving to Albania?…. Tomorrow?!….. Now that's just ridiculous." Maybe I should start packing now.

--Rosie--

In my backyard

Slamming my head against our broom shed

Aggravated

I haven't told him yet. I fell asleep and this morning the backbone I've been developing crumbled when I saw him eating his breakfast. I can't kill him! I just got home! That would ruin my summer holiday. So I ate my pancakes and stared at the nice decorative flowers on the table. I talked to him. About Quidditch, the Weather, my future, my friends, my plans for the summer, and even my laundry and I never brought up Scorpius. I am a jellyfish. I have no spine.

That's why I am out here. I'm an awful person. I promised the man I love that I will tell my father about him so that we can get closer and have no secrets. And I can't do it. My dad says he loves me. He won't hurt me. I need to do this by the time I go to bed. Scorpius is going to ask me about how it went soon and unless I actually tell my dad, I don't think that conversation will go well. Maybe if I hit my head hard enough against this shed I will get seriously injured, get admitted into saint Mungos and no one will even think about whether or not I have or haven't told my parents certain aspects of my life. I mean, if I am lying in a bed dying (I hit my head _really_ hard) Scorpius shouldn't care that much.

I can do this. I can do this. Breath in. Breath out. I think I will tell mum first. She can keep me accountable. And that should be easier than telling the father. Okay that's what I'm going to do. I'm telling mum first.

I can do this. I can do this. Breath in. Breath out. WHAT AM I THINKING? She hates him too! She punched Mr. Malfoy once when they went to Hogwarts. As far as I know she is still really angry about whatever he did. He could have done something really despicable that they haven't told me. (Whenever dad tells the story he focuses more on the look on Malfoy's face when Mum socked it to him. Why she did it is not important when you compare it to the fact that a girl could take him apparently.) I can't do it. I need to owl Scorpius and tell him I'm not doing it. I can't do it.

My head is really going to hurt tomorrow.

--Rosie--

Outside our house

Watching the sunset

Trying to buck up

I almost got the courage to tell my dad. He was sitting in his big chair reading the daily prophet. He refuses to believe anything the paper says, but he reads it religiously. One time I asked him why he reads the Daily Prophet if he doesn't even believe it. I mean, what's the point? I ended up getting a 20-minute story about all the awful things that the Daily Prophet said about His family or friends when he was in Hogwarts. He told a tale about how one time it had the audacity to say that Uncle Harry was in love with mum and she was cheating on him with Viktor Krum (Apparently he was a famous Quidditch star in my parent's time).

This put him on a bigger rant where he told me all about the awful man Viktor Krum. How he seduced mum into going with him to a ball. And after that he pined after mum trying to win her attention, even though she showed no interest. I have no idea what that had to do with the Daily Prophet but I did learn to never ask dad questions. Ever. Or to cross him, like Viktor Krum did so many years ago.

Anyway, I almost told my dad about Scorpius and I. He looked pretty harmless sitting in his comfy chair armed with nothing but a newspaper. Oh and his wand, he says he loves me. He won't hurt me. And we were out of floo powder, which might stop him from going to the Malfoy Manor. If he is too angry I am sure he cannot concentrate on the 3 D's. (Destination, Determination, Deliberation or something like that.) And would he really make a risk like that.

"Dad?" I said, with as much resolve as I could muster.

Then he looked up. And he was mad. He always gets mad when he reads the Prophet, normally over small details that are no big deal at all. "You need to read the poppycock they are saying about Weasley's Wizard Wheezes. They are claiming that the products are" he picks up the paper so he can read it word for word "'all defective, worthless, and not worth your well earned galleons'. Do these reporters think that they are specialists or something? Of course those products are perfectly fine. If it wasn't so late I would go out and give those dragons a piece of my mind." He sat back in his chair and huffed, "Is there something you wanted to say Rosie?"

Yeah, right. I was _not _about to tell him now. "Good night dad, see you tomorrow."

"Goodnight. You're my little girl."

"Yeah, I'm your little girl." I have no spine.

In my bedroom

Sitting here stunned.

I am shocked.

Well. Now they know. And no, I didn't tell them. I should have seen this coming. He thought I was going to tell them a week ago. I kept putting it off and off and it comes back to bite me in the butt.

Scorpius came over. To my house. Where I live. Where my _parents _live. We were eating lunch (soup and sandwiches) and we heard a loud crack (my baby passed his apparation test, I'm still proud of him though my anger and my shame). Dad thought it was someone from the Ministry, so he goes outside to meet whoever it was, in case it was urgent or private. From what I heard my dad walked outside and it did not register at first who was there.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm here to see Rosie." (That's when my heart stopped) "Nice to meet you sir." By now I had run to the window and I saw Scorpius reach out to shake my dad's hand. I could see that he was still confused and he half heartedly shook his in return.

"If you don't mind, who are you?"

The look on Scorpius' face was terrifying, it wasn't a look of anger, he looked betrayed. He looked like someone had smacked him in the face. "I'm Scorpius. Malfoy."

My dad crossed his arms defensively now, "And what do you want with Rosie?"

"She didn't tell you." I wanted to disappear. He looked so hurt. But now there was something else. A strange steely expression mixed with regret. "I can't believe she hasn't told you yet." He began walking toward the house with my dad on his heels.

"Tell me what?" It was not a question it was a demand.

Scorpius didn't answer him, he walked into the house, and walked until he found the kitchen. There was this awful moment where we just stared at each other. He looked…defeated. I'm sure I was some sickly shade of green. "You said you'd tell them."

I kind of blushed a bit, my whole family was going to see me duke it out with my boyfriend. What a wonderful first impression. "I didn't think you'd come like this." I knew it was a flaky response. How could I have been so spineless? I wanted to kick myself.

"You said you would tell them as soon as you got home. You promised!" He looked angry now. The last time he was this mad was when someone made fun of him for dating me. Trust me, no one messed with Scorpius after he gave that boy a piece of his mind. I wanted to turn and run away. I kind of shuffled my feet and tried to look pitiful when I said, "But I was waiting for the right time."

"The right time?" Okay, my doe eyed expression didn't soften him up at all. "There is no right time! You just needed to tell them! Were you really going to tell them? Or were you just going to say you told them. It would be another one of your 'secrets'."

"I—"

"No, Rosie, I don't want to hear it. You said you would. You said you cared about me." He turned around and ran into my mother, "I'm sorry for intruding Mrs. Weasley." He gave me a last fleeting glance before walking out of my house.

How could I have messed this up so bad? Now my boyfriend thinks I don't care about him. My dad thinks I've betrayed him (I was right about one thing, my dad would not take the news very well.) and my mum wont leave me alone. She wants to "talk". Fortunately Hugo has no idea anything is different. He was in the bath when Scorpius made his grand appearance. This sucks.

--Rosie--


	7. Chapter 7

Grin and Bear It

"**Talking" it Out**

Sitting in my bedroom

Yet again smacking my head against the wall

Sad, frustrated, confused.

It's been a few days since "the incident". I've taken to avoiding the father every time I've seen him. But mum, on the other hand, is a totally different animal. As soon as I left my room for a second (I had put myself in total isolation to either punish myself or avoid dad, I can't decide which was the bigger part of that decision) she cornered me so we could "talk". I hate talking. Talking is how I got in this situation in the first place. Scorpius wanted to "talk" to his father, he wanted to "talk" to me, and wanted me to "talk" to my father. There is too much talking going on if you ask me for my opinion.

She pulled me into her bedroom and sat me next to her on her large bed. Something that I hate about my mother is that she has this expression she gives me when she is concerned for me or my well being. It's like she's just searching my eyes for the answer. She gave me that look as soon as she was settled. "Why didn't you tell us honey?" She always calls me that when she gives me that face.

Talking didn't seem very appealing at the moment, so I just shrugged.

"I don't want you to think you can't tell us about important things in your life. We both care, deeply, about what is going on in your life." She adjusts herself so that it is even easier to search my face for the answer.

I gave her a more dramatic shrug.

"Honey, we don't get to hear much about you. You are all the way at Hogwarts and, although I know you are getting a great education, I hate that I never get to see my children. I want to hear about your life." She puts her hand on my hand, like it is some sort of reassuring gesture.

Instead of shrugging I just look at her. "This doesn't have to do with me being apart from you. Do you realize who that guy was in your kitchen, mother?"

"Yes, Scorpius Malfoy. What does that have to do with anything?"

At that moment I was overcome by a tidal wave of emotion. "It has everything to do with anything! Do you realize what he was saying to me in there?"

"It's not like he was speaking in code." She gave me that look even harder than before. Like when you squint your eyes to see better, only more terrifying. "You've been seeing him and you didn't tell us."

"Exactly!" I waved my arms around to add to the affect of what I was trying to say. But her face didn't change a bit. She didn't get it. "I am" or was "in a relationship with Scorpius Malfoy." Her face just looked confused now. Seriously, people tell me that she's smart but sometimes I have no clue where they get that idea. "The spawn of you and your husband's worst enemy."

Then she laughed.

"That's all?" She hugged me as if all the problems were resolved, "We aren't enemies with the Malfoy family."

I let out a sarcastic laugh, "Really? I think you should tell dad because he definitely missed the owl on that one." Mom gave me a concerned frown, like she had no idea what I meant. "You don't seriously believe dad isn't harboring some grudge against him? Every time anyone mentions the Malfoy family, whether it is good or bad, dad has something hateful and negative to say. You can't really blame me for being afraid to tell you about us."

Mom gave me the same sarcastic laugh "I doubt he says anything hateful about them. He hasn't even talked to Draco Malfoy since…" she cut short, her face frozen with a guilty expression. "On second thought, I think you might be right. But that does not mean you can't tell us these things!"

The conversation didn't change much. She couldn't talk me into going back in time and telling him. (I heard that The Ministry never actually got around to fixing the time turners, but even if it were possible for me to tell him, she couldn't get me to do it.) After she gave up on pestering me (my mother is a very persistent and occasionally annoying woman) she slumped over, defeated, and sighed, "Please talk to your father. I think that he would really like to talk this over with you."

That is the last thing I want to do. But Nodded and gave her a feeble smile before putting myself in isolation again. I miss Scorpius. I hope he still wants me. How could I have messed this up so bad? Dad won't look at me. (He asked my shadow if I could pass the peas when we were at dinner), Mum is constantly pulling me aside for "chats", and I haven't gotten one letter from Scorpius. I miss him so much. How can I fix this? There aren't any spells on the matter (I've checked) and all the potions are faulty and take too long to brew (not to mention illegal).

I miss him. I want him. What can I do?

--Rosie--

In my bedroom

Recovering from the confrontation

So angry

I have been sitting for the past few days thinking and thinking so I have decided that I need to TALK to Scorpius. But, before I could actually talk to Scorpius I needed to talk to my Dad. So, believe it or not I did. We had just gotten finished eating and Dad made his traditional trek to the reclining chair. Normally I help mum clean the kitchen, but I gave her a look (I hoped it said, "I'm about to go make amends with your husband. I may never make It back, but may I please be excused from my after-dinner duties") and she nodded telling me to go right on ahead.

"Hey Dad." I said, feeling incredibly awkward. I put my hands in my pockets and stood next to him. He looked somewhere past my left ear, acknowledging my presence. "Can we talk?"

He grunted, this is Ron Weasley code for "If you must." I had no idea how to begin, I wanted to start it in a way that wouldn't make him even more upset or tune me out entirely. So I didn't start with, "So, how'd you like my boyfriend?" or "Yank that stick out of your butt and get over yourself." I didn't think that was the way to make him listen to me.

I just looked at him and asked, "What do you think about what happened last Sunday?" This way I didn't have to make a direct reference to Scorpius, or force my ideas on him, it gave him "control" of the conversation.

He grunted again. I had no idea what to make of that.

"Come on Dad, we need to talk about this."

"What do you want me to think Rose?" He asked, already frustrated. "I'm not happy with you. When did I ever give you the impression that you could spend your time with _that_?" I decided not to comment on his less than appropriate reference to my beau. (I've decided that if this whole thing works out I am going to start calling Scorpius my beau. I think it is so cute. And it adds the perfect level of affection.). "And then you not only went against my will but you kept secrets from me. And I am sure that in the process you lied to me, no secret like that won't involve lies." Then he actually looked into my eyes.

That sounds very dramatic. I suppose right here you expect me to write about the pain I saw hiding behind them. To go on about how looking into my father's eyes made me realize that I have wronged him and suddenly I understood how to go on with this. But that didn't happen.

He just looked mad. There was no secret revelation or emotion hidden. "I'm sorry." I said.

And then he grunted again. I hate that.

"But don't you see where I was coming from. I am so happy that I am going out with this amazing boy. But I can't talk about him at home and I have to convince my family at school to hide this from you to, because you are holding some ridiculous grudge against his father. I'm afraid to tell you because I don't want to make you mad. Now I have made him mad, and all I want to do is work it out because I L…"

"Do not say that you love him." He growled.

I blinked, "But I do. You haven't given him a fighting chance. He was _begging _me to tell you."

"You. Don't. Love. A. Malfoy." He was still pretty angry apparently. "My daughter does not love a Malfoy." He looked into my eyes again. Same story. He's just really really mad.

I stood up. "I don't need your approval dad. I'm coming of age in a few months. If you make me choose don't kid yourself into thinking I will chose an intolerant old man over the man that I love." I turned and stomped out of the living room. Mum was standing outside the door. She tried to say something to me but I interrupted her, "It's his choice mum." I turned and ran up the stairs.

Well, I tried. I miss Scorpius.

--Rosie--

In my bedroom

Eavesdropping

Curious

It's been a few hours since I last wrote. Not much has changed. But mum is confronting dad now. She heard everything and she agrees with me. Dad is being petty and stupid and (in her words, not mine) he needs to "get over his pitiful grudge and not take his vendetta against Draco through his daughter". I totally agree. I'm just going to copy down their conversation. I'm using extendable ears.

(Mum) "Ronald, you are being every immature about this. Your daughter was afraid to tell you about something very important in her life because of your petty hatred."

(Dad) "Good, maybe it will make her think twice about going against my will."

(Mum) "It didn't stop her this time. Why would it stop her again? She was perfectly content going around with you not knowing. Scorpius…."

(Dad) "Don't say his name."

(Mum) "_Scorpius_ wanted her to tell you. He sounds honorable enough."

(Dad) "Looks can be deceiving."

(Mum) "Ronald Weasley. Why can't you just be angry with Draco and get over it. I'm sure Scorpius is nothing like Draco if Rosie likes him so much."

(Dad) "Well, he looks just like his father. So forgive me if I am having difficulty believing you."

(Mum) "Looks can be deceiving."

(Dad) Grunt.

(Mum) "I don't care whether or not you want to give that boy a chance, but I am _demanding_ that you do. He is special to Rosie so you _will _give him a chance. I do _not _want our daughter to leave us just because you are being a stubborn arse."

(Dad) Grunt.

(Mum) "Ron?"

(Dad) "Fine! I'll give the Malfoy kid a chance. But if I am proven right about that boy do not get angry when I won't let him come to our home for Halloween."

(Mum) "Thank you.

Go Mum! Yes! Yes! Yes!! I'm dancing right now. YES!

--Rosie--


	8. Chapter 8

Mail Call

**Cockroach**

In my bedroom

Writing my heart and soul

Pensive

_Dear Scorpius, _

_I am very sorry about what happened. I know that I promised and I know that there is probably no way I can try to explain my way out of it. So I'm just going to leave it at that. I'm sorry. After you left I was proven right. My dad was MAD. He wouldn't even look at me. But mum was all about talking it out. She's just upset that I thought I had to keep it secret (of course). I understand why you are mad, but I would really like to talk about it. Please write back. I miss you already. Please forgive me. Please. I love you. _

_Rosie_

I don't want to ignore him anymore. I want to start talking and know whether or not he still wants to be my beau. I sent this letter with the family owl, but I didn't ask. I hope no one needs it. Maybe this will help my parents realize that I need my own owl. Doubt it. But a girl can dream. Unfortunately, I have many other letters I need to send. Well, two. But it is really hard to write three people letters and only have one owl. I'm going to write the letters now while I decide what to do.

_Naomi, _

_I hope your holiday is going really well. Are you still planning to go to Asia in July? That sounds like it will be fun. I wish I could go with you. I am staying in England with the family. My parents were considering going up to Ireland to visit some friends but I guess they have decided against it. It's very sad. I would love to see the countryside and maybe visit and muggle pub. Just joking. You know that the only liquor I can handle is butter beer. You saw how I dealt with the firewiskey when our house won the Quidditch tournament!_

_Unfortunately, my holiday did not start out well. You remember how Scorpius was BEGGING me to tell my parents about us? I decided that I would tell them. My plan was to tell them as soon as I got home. I told Scorpius this. But when I got home I chickened out. I could see it in my mind, "What you love a Malfoy? No more Hogwarts for you." It wasn't a pretty picture. I kept holding it off day after day, until a week after holiday started Scorpius came to visit. Now he is angry and he hasn't written me at all. I've decided to write to him, but I don't know if he will write back. I miss him. My dad was no surprise. He was mad and gave me the silent treatment. He wouldn't even _look _at me. Mum has talked sense into him. I hope he doesn't want to meet Scorpius soon, because I don't know if Scorpius will even go for it. So far this summer is not going well. _

_Well, I hope your Holiday is better than mine. Obviously. Have fun in Asia and write me back! Miss you and love you! _

_Rosie_

_Dear Ariel, _

_How's your holiday? Is your family still planning on going to America? If you are you are SO LUCKY. Remember, I asked you to get me a souvenir from one of the muggle shops in New York City. (I would prefer something cute and pink. Hint hint.) My family is not doing anything except the infamous, annual Weasley Family Reunion, which I have to look forward to next week. My whole family will be there: My uncle Bill's family, Uncle Charlie and his new fiancé, Uncle Percy and his _fascinating _stories of the reconstruction of the ministry following the demise of Lord Voldemort (notice my subtle sarcasm?), Uncle George's family, Aunt Ginny's family too…including James. _

_Are things with you and James still sour? Sorry if this brings up repressed feelings of bitterness and hatred. I'll get off this subject. Scorpius and I are not doing too well either. I promised him that I would tell my dad and, of course, I wimped out. But even WORSE, Scorpius came over unexpectedly to meet the family. So now my dad feels all hurt and betrayed and Scorpius hasn't talked to me since. My mom is just concerned about the state of communication in our family. Write back soon, I am DYING for friendly contact. _

_Rosie. _

--Rosie--

In the back yard

Sending off more letters

Dismayed

The owl came back empty-handed. No reply from Scorpius. I know I shouldn't be surprised that he's mad, but I miss him so much! I just want to patch things up. Well. I am NOT giving up without a fight. YES I made a mistake YES it's all my fault YES I could have handled it better but NO I am not going to let it end like that. I've sent the owl off with the other two letters and in the mean time I am writing _another _letter to my dearest. And I will keep writing until I get a response or I die.

_Dear Scorpius, _

_I guess I deserve the silent treatment. What I did was wrong and deceitful. But I was scared! You have to understand that my dad really does hate your dad. For whatever childish reason he has, he is unwilling to give it up even if it hurts the people around him. I'm sure your dad doesn't think my dad is the best guy in the world but you have to understand I was afraid. I was going to tell him…eventually. I know I promised that I would tell him as soon as I got back. But I didn't. And I can't go back and fix it. _

_Listen to me when I say that I am very very sorry. I will keep trying until you forgive me. Please write me back Scorpius. I really do love you. _

_Rosie_

--Rosie--

In my bedroom

Reading my letters

Bemused

_Dear Rosie, _

_I am so sorry about what happened with you and Scorpius. If he is not talking to you he is seriously overreacting. Your dad is so tall I would be afraid to tell him too. Maybe you could get your Grandmum to send him some of her cookies, they would have won over Lord Voldemort if they had ever tried I am sure. _

_Yes, we are going to Asia in July. I would gladly take you with me but this is a '_family trip_', whatever that means. I'm excited though. My da says that I can buy the best and newest broomstick. The Red Dragon. It has only been released in China. When my dad told me I almost died because I was so excited. I am going to be the only person at Hogwarts with one of those! I can't believe it. I know you don't understand broomsticks so I am going to describe it in Rosese (that's your language). It is the best book by the best author written in perfect grammar with the best quills and the finest ink. There are only 20 copies released. All the critics say that it is the most gripping and alluring tale ever told. It is bound in the best hide and covered in the finest silk. It even has one of those ribbons to mark your place. Not even _you _would think of marking in the margins of this book. Yes, The Golden Dragon is just that good. I can't wait to bring it to Hogwarts and rave about it day after day. You are going to with that I never went to Asia. I am so excited. _

_Sincerely, _

_Naomi_

_Dear Rosie, _

_No, I'm not going to America. My dad was let go from his work and so he is spending this summer looking for a job. What is even worse than the loss of my fantasy trip to America? He is looking for jobs in India. _INDIA!! _What am I going to do if we move to India? This is the worst year ever. First James, then my no-America, now I am going to India. _

_I don't even know why any of this is happening. James hasn't talked to me since the great separation. I haven't really tried thought. Every time I think about him I sink even further into this terrible dark depression I am falling into. Maybe I should go to Durmstrang where all the dark and depressing wizards go. I am sorry about Scorpius. We are both having bad times with men. Maybe if I go to Durmstrang I can find us both some good ones. Apparently Hogwarts is plum out of any prospects. _

_I'll send you a change of address card if I end up moving to India. Tata._

_Ariel_

I thought that hearing from my two best friends would help. I guess I was wrong. One of my friends has fallen in love with her new (or will be new once she gets it) broomstick and the other is being the drama queen of the century and has declared herself depressed.

The owl got back from Scorpius again. And again there was no reply. How can I convince him that I really do love him and that I really am sorry? I'd ask my friends. But obviously, they have things going on. Well, like I said, I am not going to stop writing letters until he either writes back or I die.

_Dear Scorpius, _

_I probably seem like a cockroach. You have done something that seems like it would get rid of me, but I crawl back. It's going to take more than a few rejected letters to stop me. I want you to get the idea. _I am very sorry and I wish I had told him. _Please believe me! Please! I miss you and I am not ready to give you up. This cockroach is not going to stop trying. I need you! Please forgive me! This letter is shorter but that does not mean I am giving up hope that you will take me back. I love you._

_Rosie. _

In my bedroom

Writing to my dearest, again

Poetic

That dang owl has nothing for me again. But I am not giving up. No way. I just need to freshen up my approach.

_Dear Scorpius,_

_I noticed that you are not responding to normal prose so I have decided that maybe you will respond if I write you a poem. Besides, isn't poetry supposed to be the language of love.?_

_Regrets_

_(By Rosie Weasley)_

_How many times have I heard,_

_"Regret nothing, never look back";_

_But now when I turn around_

_I remember what I lack._

_I loved a boy,_

_He said he was mine_

_I loved my sweetheart_

_It was truly divine_

_A promise is a promise_

_Something no one should break;_

_And I promised my love_

_Something I could not fake._

_Alas what did I expect?_

_I was caught in my lie,_

_Right there in my house_

_There was proof I couldn't deny._

_After that my love_

_Ran away from my side_

_After that my heart_

_Had nowhere to hide._

_I miss him_

_I love him._

_I want him_

_I need him._

_How many times have I heard,_

_"Regret nothing, never look back."_

_But now I regret something_

_And my prospects are black._

_Forgive me my love_

_That's all that I ask,_

_And from now on,_

_Our love does not need a mask._

_From now on there will be no secrets. Just forgive me Scorpius! I miss you! I love you! I want you! I need you!_

_Rosie_

If that doesn't convince him I don't know what will.

--Rosie--


	9. Chapter 9

I disappeared off of the face of the earth there, didn't I? It's been over a year and I have come back. I know that this chapter is not worth the dramatic pause my absence caused, but here it is.

Comets and Tornadoes

At my Grandparents' house

Reading muggle books

Becoming more and more upset

We left home and we are at my grandparents' house. I would spend a paragraph detailing everything that happens at these reunions. Like, the boring "conversations" with Percy, awkward run-ins with James, embarrassing family games (just Quidditch, but I am broom-challenged, so this becomes the source of painful memories, sometimes literally), countless family feasts, screaming Weasley babies, Aunt Fleur complaining at the top of her lungs, and at least twenty meltdowns, but I would rather talk about the shortcomings of all literature in general.

I have spent my life living vicariously through fiction. I have experienced fantastic, unbelievable, and whimsical events through pages and pages of hundreds of books. And I've realized that it is very useful when I want to escape the real world. So, guess what I've been doing? That's right I've been reading like a mad woman. Except, I have been reading totally new books. Mum grew up in a Muggle home, so I assumed that I have read most of the muggle literature out there. I haven't read much, mind you, but I have read (and heard) enough that I thought that there couldn't possibly be more. But, my grandfather has loaned me a few of his muggle books that he bought in a muggle bookstore. (He spent a great deal of time telling me about how different it was and how none of the books were alive or would bite you. All of the children's books had brightly colored pictures (but none of them were animated) he bought a few children's books too. It was just like when he wandered into a muggle "grocery store" and found all of this food that was already cooked, conveniently packaged, and fruit that was already picked, ready for them to purchase. It never occurred to me that muggles couldn't magically grow and prepare their food. I just assumed that it…just happened. When Grandfather explained it (both the bookstore and the grocery store stories) he was absolutely giddy, childish in his absurd excitement. Have I mentioned that he collects plugs?) Anyway, I have been reading Muggle books.

The first book I read was a play called "Romeo and Juliet". Yes, I know, strange names, but ignore them while I explain why this is actually important. These two teenagers meet and fall instantly, irrevocably, and painfully in love. Fantastic right? Wrong. Their families abhor each other: the Capulets and the Montegues. They have even gone as far as to kill members of the other family. It's absolutely horrible. If you take away the killing aspect of the story, does the plot sound at all familiar? I could totally connect with this story. But to continue, I am not going to tell the ENTIRE story, that would take too much time, and I have other stories to talk about. Romeo and Juliet decide to get married behind their parents' backs. But events spiral out of control and the lovers must make a choice between being thrown apart and running away together. Of COURSE they decided to run away together. But, even that goes wrong. In the end both Juliet and Romeo kill themselves, over a misunderstanding, fearing the possibility of living without the other one.

This story is so frustrating. They follow my story perfectly, for the first ten pages, and even after everything goes wrong, even their own deaths. They end up together, at least, in whatever afterlife William Shakespeare believed in. I hate this. The cosmos get together and destroy what happens with them and everything works out, in a fashion. I want to be able to spend all eternity with my Romeo! That is so unfair!

The next story is a long and old poem, which is apparently a big deal in Muggle history, called The Iliad. Of course all of the trouble happened over a girl, two girls, as a matter of fact. I'm not going to tell the WHOLE story, just the parts that involve Chrysies and Briseis. These are two girls who are taken captive by the Achaean army. Chrysies is given to Agamemnon, the leader of the Achaean forces, and Briseis is given to Achilles, Achaean's great warrior. I see myself as Chrysies. Her father is the priest of the god of Apollo, and when he learns that his precious daughter has been taken captive by their enemies he demands to have her back. But, Agamemnon refuses. So Chryses, Chrysies' father, sends a plague on the Achaean armies. After Agamemnon learns that his prize is the cause for this terrible trouble he reluctantly gives Chrysies to her father, and then demands that Achilles give him Briseis. Then a cauldron-full of problems happen and everything goes downhill. Dad is like Chryses, he sees the man I am with as a threat and uses whatever powers (the intimidation factor) to drive us apart. And then, Agamemnon is going to replace me! I don't WANT my Agamemnon to find another girl! Agamemnon/Romeo and I are should at least the ability to die together. But no. Chryses destroyed everything.

And the last story I am going to quote is Wuthering Heights. This is a story of complicated, twisted, and occasionally a little inbred, love. But I am going to focus on the elder Catherine. She learns that she is totally in love with Heathcliff, but despite her love, things cause them to be forced apart (their families and his constant bad attitude). She marries Edgar Linton instead of the man that she loves. During this time she treats Edgar terribly and tortures herself for not marrying the man she thinks that she loves. This is only a very small part of the long and complicated story of Wuthering Heights. It is actually a story of Heathcliff's pursuit of ultimate, degrading revenge on anyone who ever hurt him. It is actually an awful story, but it is absolutely amazing. I hate it and love it. Either way, I feel like I connect with Catherine. She loves someone, but eventually comes to the realization that she needs to move on. And she marries Edgar.

This is all so depressing. I. MISS. SCORPIUS. I just want him to give me a chance.

---Rosie

Still at my Grandparents' house

Determined

Hiding from my family

I was reading back in my journal, and it has depressed me even more. Obviously, I don't know what I was thinking, because the retrospective thing never does anything for me. I probably turned to my journal so that I would stop getting love advice from fictional characters in Muggle books. It makes me confused. You may think that a good way to avoid this confusion would be to just stop reading, but when I am at a Weasley family reunion when it is in full swing I need some way to escape. It is just too much chaos and I have no idea how to deal with the "my cousin broke up with my best friend" etiquette. (Seriously, are you supposed to be mad at him? Should I give him the silent treatment? Should I sabotage him and make him suffer? Or should I just ignore the problem? I just don't know!) Of course, Ariel never told me what exactly is happening between them. They could be a happy couple again and I would have no idea.

While re-reading my journal did make me feel even worse about the situation (something about reminiscing about the good times just isn't exactly what is going to make me feel any better), I did suddenly get some initiative. I need to make things better between me and Scorpius if I don't do something to PROVE how much I need and miss him? I need to come up with a brilliant idea. I need run thousands of miles proclaiming my love at the top of my lungs. Or I need to get every house elf in Hogwarts to make the most beautiful feast and decorate the Grand hall with just my love to fuel their magic, because it should be more than enough! But, I should find something that is possible, because both of the things I have just listed would not work. Either because it is not physically possibly, no matter what potion I concoct, or because it would take too much time to prepare, and I want this awfulness to be over. I want it all over!

I just need to brainstorm. I need to come up with a brilliant idea. One that would do everything that running thousands of miles and love-fueled magic would do. I want Scorpius to know beyond any doubt, that I only want him. That this experience has taught me that NOTHING is worse than being separate from him.

You, my journal, do not understand the depth of my pain. I've been avoiding writing about the subject, but I will wait no more!

Without Scorpius I am like a flower that has been ripped from the ground. I have no roots and I am wilting. My life and everything that makes me the ravishing woman who I have become is gone and I am so disconnected I cannot possibly grow. Instead, I am falling apart. I am aimless. I am like a comet that has been pulled from orbit I am confused and running in circles that have not been paved yet. I don't know where I am going or what is driving me anymore, but I keep going because I have no choice. My head spins because it is a tornado of lost ambitions and hopes that have suddenly been torn to pieces by the torrential wind that has swept in as if from nowhere. My memories are like picture frames flying around the rooms in my mind slashing and gashing everything whenever it comes close enough for me to remember it. The tornado keeps spinning and spinning and I am getting more and more hopeless. And I'm falling. My foundation is destroyed and I am falling in the massive gaping hold that is left. It gets darker and darker, and nobody really notices.

And what is more? I am invisible. Dad has stopped worrying about me, because I am not with "that boy" anymore. He is with his family. And with so many grandchildren it is so easy for me to get lost in the shuffle. You need to be three years old or younger to get much attention. And I am sixteen. I won't get attention until I am starting a family for myself. And I'm invisible. Nobody sees me falling!

But remember, I am not a depressed frail little girl anymore, I am determined to make everything right. But how?

---Rosie

At home

Jittery

About to do something bold.

My father and I are in our kitchen at home, but the family reunion is still going on. I'll explain that part later, but first things first. Something amazing has happened. I had just finished my last journal entry, I was sitting behind the shed in my grandparents' yard, contemplating my amazing declaration of love to Scorpius and my dad came up.

"Rosie, I.." he cleared his throat which means that he was nervous. "I am sorry. I have always wanted you to be able to talk to me. And I am sorry that I haven't done that. You are a priority to me, and I want you to always remember that you and your happiness is what I want to be a priority. In this big family I always felt like an oversight, but I don't want you to be an oversight, or even worse, afraid. My mother was terrifying when I was in school. My siblings and I went out of our way to make sure our mother did not know certain things about our lives. And…" he cleared he throat again, "I hate that you thought you've needed to do the same thing." He got quiet very fast and looked down. As far as I can remember this was the longest speech I have heard from my dad. He is not someone who likes to talk a lot especially about his feelings. So, naturally, I was speechless.

We stayed there, saying nothing and not moving, for a while before he dared to say anything else. "C..could you forgive me?"

I looked up at him. "Yes, dad, I'll forgive you. But it's too late. He's gone and, well, I don't know how I could get him back. I totally botched this up. I don't know if I could ever fix it."

Then he surprised me. "Well, aren't you still going to try?"

"Of course I am going to try. But, you don't mind that I actually miss him? That all I want is to be with him again? You were dead set against me having anything to do with a Malfoy." I was pushing it. I figured that if I was going to do this right I needed to be totally honest. And that meant with Scorpius and with my father.

Then he smiled. Yeah, my dad smiled at that. "That's my girl." Then he sat down next to me. "When your mother, your uncle Harry, and I were searching for the Horcuxes I completely messed everything up. I ran out on them and left them hanging out to dry. Of course, I regretted it immediately. But, after I left them there was no going back. Your mother had the camp moving every other day for protection, and no one ever knew where we were going. But I never stopped hoping for an opportunity to go back. Eventually I found a way and I came back. I just showed up and they welcomed me back, and your mother and I have never been apart since then. She said she would have come after me, but she did what she thought was the right thing to do. I thought that she hated me, and she was just being noble. And, I would assume, that Scorpius is staying away because he thinks that that is the only option. That staying away would be better, maybe, for you. I was furious that day and, I am sure that there is no way in the world that he would ever consider dealing with an angry father again."

This whole time I just nodded and listened. After he stopped I just looked up at him, "Then, what should I do?"

Dad smiled at me and told me the most brilliant plan for getting my man back, and I cannot believe that my father, Ronald Weasley, came up with it. How could Scorpius ever turn us down?

Unless…he really is…done with me.

---Rosie


	10. Chapter 10

Earn It

In the Kitchen

Filled with butterflies

Reeling

I haven't written for the past couple of days, and I am incredibly sorry. I have been so busy and, that's all I can say. I've been busy. So many things have happened since dad first came up with his "plan". Where to begin?

Here is what dad told me the plan was. We were going to go to Diagon Alley and here was where I was going to confront Scorpius. His family was planning on being there all week, to unveil this big deal new book called "Voldemort's Army: In the Mind of the World's Biggest Regret". In my dad's words, "Draco Malfoy decided to do the whole world a favor and write a book about himself, not the entire wizarding world can be in misery". Despite my dad's less-than-supportive thoughts about the book, it is causing a huge stir in the wizarding community, both positive and negative. The negative response is mostly from the many families who lost family to Voldemort and his cronies. (Another gem from my father, "He had to find SOME way to torture people after he left Hogwarts. He probably doesn't know how to deal with himself if he wasn't making somebody else's life bloody miserable.) But there are other people who think that this exposé of the "socially deviant" mind can help prevent any Voldemort-esqe occurrences farther down the line.

Then there's everyone else in the world that really don't care. Last Fall Scorpius mentioned that his dad had written a book. "It's all he focused on all summer. But not like you normally picture and artist suffering for their craft. He has decided he is like the writer of Hogwarts, A History or something. That what he is writing is bound to become the greatest work of literature. Ever. It's absolutely revolting. I bet no one will even read it." But he never talked about it after that, it just wasn't that important.

I guess he was wrong.

There were witches and wizards streaming through Diagon Alley when we got there. It wasn't time for students to be purchasing their things for school, and there were no holidays for months. If someone had been living in a hole they would be absolutely flabbergasted, until they saw the magical streaming marquee that wove its way around the buildings though the air above Diagon Alley's patrons. "Draco Malfoy, the author of "Voldemort's Army: In the Mind of the World's Biggest Regret" in Borgin and Burkes TODAY!!!" There were animated posters of either Mr. Malfoy's face or the famed book's cover. The posters of Mr. Malfoy were moving like every other wizard picture, but they all did something different. In one he was smiling, except it looked more like a condescending smirk, and he was walking around making green smoke appear in the background. In the other he was frowning and surly, glaring intently at all the passers-by. The third one I saw was a picture of him conjuring a miniature dark mark that hovered above his other open hand, then he would turn to sneer at whoever dared to look. None of the pictures made him appear friendly or congenial. If this all was not enough, after only walking a few meters from the leaky cauldron you encountered the end of the massive line twisting and turning through the streets to the entrance of the book store, itching to meet the menacing man in the pictures.

"Bloody hell," dad murmured, sounding injured or ill at the sight of all the chaos, "this whole place has gone mad!" (I looked at him and he did seem a little green. Unless that was the green sparklers that shot into the air every thirty seconds, giving the Alley a continuous Slytherin-like glow, even thought it was only three o clock in the afternoon).

Until this point the Alley was still bustling with motion and energy. People talked and, despite the decorations and the sparklers, everything felt somewhat normal. Then slowly a hush settled over the crowd. This sounds very dramatic and believe me it was, I don't know if anyone knew what exactly caused the sudden silence. The sparklers stopped shooting and the marquee stopped and remained motionless, suspended in mid-air. The whole alley felt like it was holding its collective breath.

Then there was clapping, not a lot just one set of hands, joined by a few other sounds of people clapping theirs. It was a slow and steady clap though, like everyone clapping to the beat of their hearts. Dad and I were baffled, only about twelve people in the crowd were clapping, which just confused us even more. Then we saw him. Draco Malfoy walked out of the Leaky Cauldron. Well, he strut out of the pub, walking is a generous term for it. He stepped slowly and kept his head high, as if making sure that everyone saw him on the way to his own book signing. Then I realized he was walking in time with the claps of the people's hands. A few people joined, but the slow, purposeful, and somehow haunting tempo stayed the same.

I looked at dad who was staring at Mr. Malfoy like he was the absolute scum of the earth. "He's set this all up, I bet the sparklers were his idea too! Look at that." He nodded at one of the posters. All of the Draco Malfoys has stopped strutting, sneering, conjuring, or smiling, instead they were bowing down and Mr. Malfoy slowly made his way toward the book shop. "He is so full of himself." Dad muttered.

Eventually Mr. Malfoy actually made it all the way into the small book shop. The clapping stopped and the posters began doing whatever sinister or pompous action they were supposed to be doing, but it took the crowd a little longer to recover. Some people whispered to each other and others just looked about nervously as if waiting for something even more unnerving to happen. At some point the conversation picked back up and people forgot about the strange entrance Mr. Malfoy made.

At this point we were planning on inconspicuously meandering into the book store and accidentally running into Scorpius. But that became impossible the moment we entered Diagon Alley and saw the people cramped between the narrow walls. So we decided that the safest place to come up with a plan b would be in the Leaky Cauldron. And I think dad needed to sit down and not see Draco Malfoy's sneering face every two feet.

The pub was still more crowded than normal, as any person would expect. "I'll be back." Dad said as he weaved through the dense crowd toward the barkeeper. I found a small table cramped in the back corner and sat down. In the elation of all of the chaos I had not realized how absolutely TIRED I was. I hadn't slept much the night before in giddy anticipation of what was going to happen. Like a little kid before their first day at Hogwarts. But at that moment, the pub was warm and the lights were dim compared to the bright sparkly vestige outside, and it felt like all of the sounds fuzzed together into a dull hum.

I don't know how long I slept. It could have been seconds or hours or days. But I know that I dreamt. I was in line in Diagon Alley, holding a book, surrounded by anxious people, sparklers were spewing lights and posters were covered in pictures of one man. The strange thing was, that every time I looked at any of the posters the man's back was turned and I could not see his face. There were children screaming, people talking, vendors advertizing their products in loud boisterous speeches. And eerily, like déjà vu, everything went silent. And again there was the clapping. And I started clapping along. Clap, clap, clap, to every beat of my heart. While my body seemed to understand what it was doing, my head was utterly confused. Then a tall man stepped out of the Leaky Cauldron, taking a step for every time my hands snapped together. I felt like a puppet-master, even though I had no real control at all. So I kept clapping to the slow almost sorrowful beat. Then I saw his face, and at that moment every poster turned and sneered directly at me. Hundreds of Scorpiuses drilling their eyes at me, burning holes in my already breaking heart, and then he said "Look what you've done." I snapped awake.

(This is a brief interruption in my long story to let you know, I still have no idea what that dream meant. But I am sure that it meant something. It all felt incredibly real, and I thought for certain that it was actually happening. It has to mean something!) Anyway…

I looked up and saw that someone was sitting across from me. At first I didn't know who it was. She had long blonde hair that was perfectly straight (no one has hair like that naturally, I'm sure about it. I should look it up) and a somewhat pretty face if it didn't slightly resemble a pug. She had piercing blue eyes and a smirk that gave me shivers. "I need to talk to you Rosie Weasley." And then I was panicking, just a little. You aren't supposed to trust strangers, but was she a stranger? I mean, this woman knew her...oh.

THIS was the Mrs. Pansy Malfoy. Dad said that after Voldemort came out in the open and the Malfoy family was unveiled as a family of Death Eaters, Draco felt like he had no options and any respectable girl would want to be with him. So he settled for the girl that used to fling herself at his feet all of their years at Hogwarts. I don't know if that's true, or if dad is just smearing Draco even more than he normally does.

She sniffed at me, as if doing this was exceptionally painful for her, and turned her cold eyes at me, and I saw where Scorpius got his beautiful eyes, "Yes?" I asked meekly, absolutely terrified of this woman.

"I know that there was…something between you and my son. I know that you two were romantically involved and that because of who your parents are you both decided to hide it. And I know that eventually this is what unraveled your relationship." She said this quickly and matter-of-factly as if the faster she said it the less painful it would be. Then she looked away looked in the direction of one of the holey walls, "Naturally, I was glad when everything fell apart for you two. I couldn't have my only son, spending his time with the spawn of a filthy mudblood." I flinched, still too afraid to actually say anything, "But, if has become painfully obvious that my son doesn't care about that. He's become spineless and quiet. Mopey. Malfoys are not people who mope. I told him to snap out of it. To become a man and deal with this with dignity, like a Malfoy should." I didn't see where this was going. Obviously she and her husband still didn't like me and didn't want me to spend any time at all around their son. And, this long eloquent speech was doing nothing to make me feel better.

But she wasn't done. Mrs. Malfoy took a breath and continued. "And for the first time my son dared to argue with me. He told me things that I thought he could not possibly mean. Things about you and him that made me want to retch." Yes, she said that the thought of us being happy made her want to throw up, this was not the happiest experience of my life, not by a long shot, "I said more things, and he said even more things. I don't want to get too far into detail. The point is, as much as I hate to say it. You make him happy. And I want him happy again. I wish I could be strong like Draco and tell Scorpius that you don't matter. But, I just want him to come back. He, just, he," she fumbled for the right words, "he needs you. And I can't stand to see him like this." Then she stood up and left before I could even say a word.

She got to the door before I could find my tongue, which was practically glued to the top of my mouth. I stood up and ran after her, "Mrs. Malfoy, where is he?"

After this heartening talk you would think that Mrs. Malfoy would be more cooperative. Silly me. "I can't to everything for you. You are going to have to do that for yourself. I don't want my son with a lazy weasel of a girl. You have to earn it." She sniffed then turned back, "But do try to make it fast. I am tired of that son of mine moping like the little boy I didn't raise him to be." She gave one quick nod, as if she were trying to reassure herself instead of me.

Turns out, he wasn't in Diagon Alley. This is getting more complicated. Can't that woman help me out even a little.


End file.
